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Titanium Thinking
Stepping out of your comfort zone
One of the obstacles I have found that can really hold a client back is inaction; staying in a comfort zone. A comfort zone is a safe place, free of things that make you uncomfortable, scared or embarrassed. It’s a comfortable place where you can remain and sometimes rationalise or justify your lack of action or progress with a well sounding reason or excuse.
The reality of a comfort zone is that much of the fear that keeps us there is in the mind. It’s a thought process that keeps us feeling secure, as long as we remain where we are and have a good enough reason to do so. Sadly, staying in a comfort zone not only makes you very skilful in making excuses; it can also rob you of so much growth and achievement.
Getting out of a comfort zone is simple but not always easy. You will be attempting to change what can sometimes be years of learnt behaviour (habits). And just saying to someone “never mind, it’s all in your head” is about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
Here is a technique I recommend to help you alleviate the stress and discomfort that comes with attempting to get out of a comfort zone. Use it honestly and accurately to give you a real perspective on the actions you should take in order to succeed in your chosen area of life.
Step 1
Get a sheet of paper, make a list of all the things you’re currently find difficult. The easiest test to see if anything should be on the list is to judge your feelings as you write the list. If you think about something and you find yourself feeling uneasy, worried, embarrassed, or uncomfortable then that’s probably an area that needs work; write it down.
Step 2
Now get another sheet of paper and create four columns one headed “Challenge”; the second headed “Imaginary Cost”; the third headed “Real Cost”; and the forth headed “Potential Benefits/ Rewards”.
Step 3
Now one by one, select items from your list and run them through your comfort zone test. In column one (Challenges), write down the challenge e.g. asking for a raise, giving a presentation, making a sales call, speaking up in meetings, challenging negative conversations.
Step 4
In column two (Imaginary Cost), write down the imaginary cost; that’s right, all the things you think might happen or go wrong if you took a risk with this challenge. E.g. the boss might think I’m crazy, he might say no, my colleagues won’t understand me, people might laugh at me, they won’t be interested in what I have to say or sell etc...
You may not feel that these are imaginary costs but you have no actual proof that these things will actually happen.
Step 5
In column three (Real Cost), list the real costs. Write down the things you know will definitely happen if you don’t take action: I’ll feel undervalued, I won’t give my boss a chance to think about my request, people won’t know about my services or what I have to offer, people won’t have a chance to respond to me, things will stay exactly as they are.
These are what I class as real cost’s, because it’s quite easy to work out what will happen if you don’t take action. Either nothing, or even worse something you really don’t want to happen.
Step 6
In column four, (Potential Payoff / Rewards), write down all the positive things that could possibly happen if you stepped out of your comfort zone and took action: My boss might say yes, people might respond to my ideas, I will build my confidence.
Can you see how positive these potential payoffs can be? Will you have a chance of really succeeding if you don’t take action? If you really take your time going through each step carefully and honestly, you will begin to have a real paradigm shift; you will begin to see the true benefits that can come from stepping out of your comfort zone and taking some positive action. You will begin to see that in the long run not taking action is much more uncomfortable and far more costly to you than actually taking action.
When you actively begin to take action, challenges and obstacles become easier to deal with. You will soon see that it’s far easier and safer to take action rather than avoiding it. If you take action, you will start to build powerful habits and be able to do and achieve things that you once thought were impossible.
From now on, make sure that when you look at life; the decisions you have to make and the action you have to take, make sure that you are looking from the correct perspective. Make sure you are using possibility thinking; if you don’t, you will allow fear to take over you, if this happens, the actions needed will then seem insurmountable and you will remain in your comfort zone.
When you focus on the real cost of inaction you will begin to see that the real danger, damage and loss is done by staying in the comfort zone.
Stay positive, stay focused and live your dreams.
Anthony Charles.
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